... and my kids catch me off guard....

by making me laugh out loud in class. If things continue this way, all my students will realize that it's almost easy to make me laugh and will maybe try to provoke it. So how'd they do it? It's no easy feat as I haven't laughed as much since I've been in France. (How shocking!) For the first incident, I had my students describing what their own country would be like if they had one, what kind of government they would have and such. One of my students declared that he would have a totalitarian regime and that he would tax his subjects 99% so that he could get all their money. I couldn't help but laugh at his cruelty towards his potential future subjects, and it didn't help that the students were so surprised by my reaction. The French do seem to laugh less than we Americans do! A student even offered me to stand by the window so I could get some air. The fact that they were commenting didn't help. It never does. Especially when people ask if I need air! The second incident happened only yesterday. I was encouraging one of my students to keep speaking English by going along with what he was telling me (that he'd written a book in one minute about how to solve the U.S.'s economic problems) and he decided to pick on his classmate, saying that since he was Russian, he was Borat's cousin. I couldn't help but laugh at his ridiculousness, and two of his other classmates, turning around and seeing that I was laughing, joined in teasing me, which made me laugh even harder. The life and times of my teaching experiences. Thankfully, overall, teaching has been going better since last week, which is rather encouraging for me. Incidents like these only make it more enjoyable.

Mr. Nov: Standing Room Only

       This weekend and last, I attended two concerts for a French artist who I knew almost nothing about, and who won me over with his voice and his ability to win over the crowd. Mr. Nov, le chinois chauve (the bald Chinese guy). And I discovered his talent courtesy of a friend who's absolutely crazy about his music. So much so, that he was part of her motivation for crossing the Atlantic Ocean. Was he worth it? Well, just from the fact that I walked in to his concerts not quite knowing or caring what his style of music was, as I was there principally for moral support, and walked out as an almost fan and admiring his performance style, we'll say he was very much worth it. Honestly, I've never been to concerts like those, with standing room only, with black lights (which bother my eyes as it turns out) and fog, and people screaming with happiness at seeing their favorite artist on stage. It was a lovely experience, and I couldn't help but watch with admiration as Mr. Nov played on the energy of his audience and  let his them take over parts of his songs for him, pointing to them while they sang along like a veritable chorus. I love music, it is such an essential part to my well being, and to see all of Mr. Nov's fans singing and dancing along like that, all ages and types, made me ridiculously happy. And the way he performs! A very passionate singer indeed, singing about passion, no less. The lyrics to one of his songs have imprinted themselves in my head and refuse to stop playing, so that when I think of this energetic, passionate, tattooed artist, the song that plays in my head goes, "par terre, par terre, contre les murs." And the way he sang, gripping the microphone and putting his whole body into his music, oozing passion, are what come to mind. A new fan in me? Somewhat. Sort of. Indeed.

Aux Champs-Elysées

           Yesterday, I spent a lovely afternoon/evening strolling down the Champs-Elysées in good company. Canadian company I might add, making my friend a neighbor as well as a fellow assistant. From the Arc de Triomphe, from which we could see la Grande Arche which is apparently a modern take on the Arc, to the Roue de Paris, we walked and talked and took our sweet old time. We stopped off in the Disney store indulging in memories of our favorite Disney movies and I found a plush doll of the big blue guy from Monters, Inc., one of the best movie characters of all time. We drank in the Christmas lights lit up along the avenue, pausing to take pictures in front of the cheery, not specifically oriented to any particular day display that was halfway down the avenue. And we kept walking down the Champs-Elysées where the Christmas Market stalls lined each side of the street. We walked down one side, indulging in the sights and smells of various stands featuring gaufres and crêpe, cheese, vin chaud, chocolate, jewelry, and what have you. The smell of spiced wine (vin chaud) is enough to go to one's head with feelings of giddy holiday spirits! The sight of the various booths of chocolate and confections, all potential gifts were chocolate lovers, were enough to incite memories of tooth aches and cavities. Looking upon the delicacies were enough for me.
         Still, we kept walking, strolling, laughing, stopping to watch a couple come down a super slide, in front of which a crowd gathered to take part in their adventures. Onwards we trooped, stopping at a seemingly German owned saucisse (sausage) booth, for my friend to order a bite to eat, where I couldn't stop doing  a silly dance to the reggae music they were playing. All at once, we found ourselves at the end of the markets, and the Roue de Paris, which had looked so far away when we'd been standing at the Arc de Triomphe, was right in front of us... and too expensive for us to ride (10€ an adult). Since a ride was out of the question, we paused to take pictures with the Eiffel tower in the background. The tower can be seen from many spots on the Champs-Elysées, adding a tall, elegant touch to the background. We had reached the end and all that was left to do was turn back around and find our way to the nearest metro. But first... we stopped along a few more booths on the other side of the avenue, sampling Maple Butter (mind-boggling!), Maple Butter Cookies (direct addiction upon first bite), and stopping to look at almost creepy, mostly cute baby dolls that cried upon having their pacifiers removed from their mouths. The time fairly flew by, and frankly, I was surprised at how much we walked. The best part, besides having great company, was looking back and realized how far we'd come from where we'd started, and seeing how the view had changed.

On Teaching

Teaching has gone much better this week and I haven't had to fight with my student's attention spans nearly as much as I've brought them solid articles to read and questions to answer about them. I was able to find teaching resources here and I will continue to use this very helpful website till April. This week has actually gone rather well and been rather enjoyable. I'm remembering why I came here in the first place. In other reflections, seeing the looks of confusion on the faces of my students who seriously don't understand English makes me really want to help them get better. But how do you help someone when you don't have much time or material to work with? It would require much careful and close tutoring. On the other hand, in terms of school, I'm realizing that it's not really fair to ask students to be good at every subject. It's not incredibly realistic, and why should a student have to feel stupid because they can't wrap their heads around a subject that surpasses them? I think the problem is rather with the system, not with the student.

Let's Be Real

Looking at the financial aspects of this assistantship really make me wonder if it's worth staying here or not. If I went back to the states would I be able to find a job? Will I even have any money saved up at the end of this program to tide me over until I can find a job again back home? Is it really worth staying?

Things I Hate About the High School Where I Teach

It's fucking cold! They barely turn the heat on and to be in that building for prolonged periods of time is torture for people like me, who can barely maintain their body temperature. I'm going to move to a warmer state when I get back to America. This winter is really my last straw. My body simply can't handle the cold! I'm like a little plaything and the cold is the cruel cat. I look at people in their different coats and wonder if those are enough for them because mine is never enough! It's a sad sad story. Sigh!!!

Preliminary Decisions

It's much too early for me to be making this decision, but I've decided to stay in France, no matter what my health decides to throw my way. This experience is important to my personal development, which is why I decided to come here in the first place. Backing out because my health is challenging me is out of the question. What am I doing here? The question I ask myself most frequently, especially when I'm feeling down. Well, here's a list:

1. Teaching.
2. Working and paying my bills.
3. Thinking about what my next step is.
4. Working on my writing skills (thanks for reading!)

There you have it. There I have it. There it is for all the world to see (tmi?!). Of course, there's always the ever-present figuring out of self, and with that added to the mix, those are enough, more than enough reasons for me to stay. Life will be life no matter where I go, and I'm going to have to deal with it as long as I'm living. So I might as well buck up and get with the program before it gets to me!

Musée du Quai Branly

Today, I finally went to the Musée du Quai Branly, to see the exhibition that has been attracting my attention for the past month and a half, "Cheveux Chéris" (Cherished Hair). It was so worth it. I've never actually gone to a museum alone, but it was a lovely experience. Had it not been for the fact that my legs were tired and my body was screaming for rest, I probably would have stayed in the museum until it closed. The museum is fantastic. As you walk up to the museum, you see glass walls, and behind those walls are a lovely garden, which becomes even lovelier at night with the green, blue, and white cylindrical lights that cast lovely shadows on the ceilings above. How do I describe the architecture of the museum itself? It's nothing short of fantastic. As you walk in to see the exhibitions and the regular collections, you are exposed to a world of art from the West, East, North, and South parts of the world. I couldn't drink in enough of the art, African and Asian especially, which I most certainly have not seen enough of in my lifetime. What fascinated me most about the collections was how many similarities there were between cultures the world over. We humans, we are nothing but the same, wrapped a bit differently each time. Cultures from South America, the Middle Americas, as well as African and Indian (as in the country) have all sent warriors to war to have them come back with scalps (gross! yes, so gross, but it's true!), hold fascinations with our dead relatives, finding it not easy to let them go (how is it ever easy to let go of a loved one?), place different symbolism in hair itself. Cheveux Chéris isn't really about hair, so much as it is about people, the world over, people, who are so similar to each other, who want the same things, people, who reflect each other in every aspect whether they choose to acknowledge it or not. As I left the museum, I contemplated the fact that humanity is savage (as is the rest of the animal kingdom), and that for all intents and purposes, we haven't advanced a bit from our ancestors. Not what I was expecting, but a refreshing reflection to end a pleasant afternoon in a splendid museum (enough adjectives there?).

Define Teaching

            It's like an attention struggle between the teacher and the potential students. The kids want to go off on tangents and the teacher wants to impart precious knowledge on the students, who know less. Thankfully I did this program before applying to Teach for America. My experiences here and research I've done on that program have gotten me to change my mind. Before this, I was certain I wanted to be a teacher. Now I am certain I don't. The job of teacher always seems glorious to willing students like me, who sat bright-eyed and bedazzled behind our desks, soaking up knowledge. I don't want to fight my student's attention spans to be able to work with them. I'd rather avoid the educational establishment altogether.
            So now what? Now that I've decided that this stressful path isn't for me, what is my next step? Perhaps an internship with a non-profit company. Or an actual job with a non-profit. What do you do when you've been trained to study and read throughout your whole life, and you graduate into the real world knowing that heading into grad school right away is not an option (if you want to keep your sanity that is)? Job hop, that's what you do. You try on different hats until you find a hat that works for you. That's exactly what I'm doing, and it's all I can do. What hat will work for me?

Reasons Why I Haven't Been Updating

Hello my fellow readers,

It is time for me to explain why I haven't been updating my blog. Unfortunately I've been sick on and off since the first day of October (the first day that my contract began) and I've actually been thinking about returning home. Being in poor health would put anyone in that state of mind. Thankfully the issues seem to be cleared up, and I'm hoping they will stay that way. I've been feeling rather like a hermit here because being sick equals staying home. I haven't been a hermit entirely, but it sure does feel that way. I'm still debating whether I should stay or leave, but I'm going to give it until December, i.e. the winter vacation, to see how things work out. Besides this less than average TAPIF (Teaching Assistant Program in France), I've found some wonderful people here who are making my stay worthwhile. I am going to try to enjoy my time here in France because I was excited to be coming here for so long. Yes, I am homesick, but who wouldn't be in my position? I am going to make more of an effort to step outside of my usual, because that was the point in coming here. Wish me luck, my fellow readers, wish me luck. Please and thank you :)